Long distance relationships? Most people are virgins when it comes to them. After all, why would you be searching to find out are long distance relationships bad? You most likely already have an opinion. You just want to confirm your intelligence with people that wrote blogs about it, so then you can talk about it which is also the moment you realize that this post might be positive.
Well spoiler alert, it’s both positive and negative.
Firstly, let’s define a long distance relationship. It’s not a 2-hour bus journey. If you complain over the fact that you can’t see your girlfriend or boyfriend enough while they only live 2 hours away from you on a bus, it’s not the distance that’s the issue in your relationship. You know how far away from my girlfriend lives? 3,100 miles or 4989 kilometers from me. (Okay, add an extra step to it, I just made myself some coffee.)
Most of long distance relationship virgins see long distance relationships as something out of a nightmare. “How will one stay loyal?” “What about jealousy?” “No cuddles for 3 months? Why would I get myself into this crap?” “What about deep, meaningful conversations? Are you going to do them through a text?”
Yes, long-distance relationships have problems but trust me, if they were as bad as people would make them seem, I wouldn’t be in one.
And I had it the worst. I can’t even see my girlfriend for about 9 months unless she flies to me or we both fly somewhere else because the big buys in America decided that I might not return to Europe if I leave. And this was before I even had a girlfriend. It’s weird because I’m pretty sure they stalked me a lot, did they not figure out I travel full time?
Most do not want to ever try a relationship like this. Why would they? The fact they won’t see somebody every day, or even week. How could somebody last? Right?
I Never Wanted to Be in a Long Distance Relationship
Her name? Pato. One month before I met her I met a different girl. She was great. You know what I told her? That my lifestyle doesn’t allow me to be in a relationship.
And that was the truth.
I am a person that’s known for being extremely open when it comes to their views, and I will be honest. I think I will ultimately end up regretting falling in love before exploring every piece of the planet, but I guess you can’t have everything.
And I’m not saying this because I don’t love Pato but because whenever I connected with somebody when traveling on a higher level than friendship, that travel experience was just beyond incredible. And not because of that connection but because of what that connection brought. I think this might be something I will regret in terms of experiences in the long-term. It’s extremely hard to explain, but perhaps one day you will understand.
Either way…a few months before I could never imagine living with somebody in one place, and now I want to do it, with Pato. Our views change all the time.
After that paragraph, you might be thinking that “this guy will be unloyal” due to the point of view that I might end up regretting it in the future.
Okay, tell me you have always been attracted to just one person. You are lying. I think anyone that says you must only love one person and that you can’t have feelings for somebody else is full of crap.
Firstly, it’s an invented rule and not human nature. Secondly, I think we all fall in love with certain aspects of several people. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT SOMEBODY? Thirdly, to be only able to love somebody means that there’s only one person that’s right for you on this planet. And those are very poor odds.
Well, either way, I guess I was destined to find love doing something I loved doing which was travel.
We Met in Paris
Is this a start to some movie?
Perhaps one day.
29th of November. The day I arrived in Paris after I’ve been to Portugal, Poland, the Czech Republic, and Italy earlier that month.
And before Paris, I’ve been to Lyon and Clermont-Ferrand that most people never heard of but sound insanely cool, and my trip was to finish in Paris. The center of Paris.
When you find a place that normally costs €300 per night in the center of Paris due to your travel knowledge, you have to go.
To make this story more interesting, she was meant to be in New York.
I arrive in Paris. I scroll through my Instagram. I see that a girl that does also not live in Paris somehow is also in Paris.
The thing is, I followed her on Instagram but yet was not aware of her existence.
How did I get to follow her in the first place?
Through #football. She was and is a football player.
You know when people on the internet comment that if a woman loves football, that you should marry her? Well, I followed her. And, well, she didn’t follow me back.
She never appeared on my Instagram feed or not that I recall until the day I arrived in Paris.
What would you do if somebody posted about being Paris when you are in Paris too? You would comment. And so I did. That comment soon turned into a DM from her.
We met in a cafe belonging to a bookstore that’s turning 99 this year called Shakespeare and Company. (Hmm, hopefully, this story doesn’t end like Hamlet.)
A super cozy place but the second we met, we left, it was too packed. We met two other times after that day while still in Prais.
It was like a relationship from the very start. I mean, look at our pictures from Paris.
Before she left, she asked me to promise her I will visit her in Sweden before she goes to the United States to play football.
And I did.
I flew through London. I slept there at night. I made it. To Stockholm.
The most I ever spent on an apartment.
And the rest? What is it they say? The rest is history? Since we met, we’ve seen each other in France, Ireland, Nothern Ireland, Poland, Sweden, and Greece. With Sweden being visited by me several times this year.
So Are Long Distance Relationships Bad?
That’s a very unprecise question.
Any relationship can be bad. It depends on you.
Ultimately it’s who you that will determine our long distance relationships bad for you.
In Fact, Long Distance Relationships Are Often Better as There Are No Expectations.
Typically when you meet somebody, it’s more likely somebody from your town or perhaps from an area around you. That person might know some of your friends. And due to that, there’s already a certain system of beliefs there. They know what you are like whether it’s true or not. Rumors are just there. People make other people seem bad because they don’t like them.
Out of nowhere that individual that you could have ended up marrying isn’t so sure about you because consciously or not, she/he is influenced by others. Something that we all do whether we like it or not.
And then, we “accept the love we think we deserve” and get into relationships with people that aren’t what we need or deserve because we assume that this is the best we can do. Long distance relationships are a clean sleet for you.
You Expand as a Human Being
This is my favorite thing about long distance relationships.
A long-distance relationship means getting to know a wide variety of people from a different culture. You see how that different culture also lives and behaves.
And if you are already from two different countries, you know how great it is to have that perspective of different cultures. It makes a tremendous difference when it comes to you being a human being. This is just like that. Eventually.
Ultimately, when you and your partner are from a similar area, you have too similar views, and while sharing views is, of course, great, it’s also limiting.
When you meet people around you are or even just in your country unless you are in a massive, massive place such as the US, the culture is the same. Ultimately you have similar ideas. You were raised similarly. So many things alike. It doesn’t allow you to expand fully. And of course, it also sometimes limits you.
It’s More Special
A typical relationship isn’t about appreciating every moment you are with each other. They say that love isn’t like what’s in the movies and truth be told it is. If you consider long distance relationships.
You value every moment spent because you don’t have too many of them. And that makes every moment more special and also increases the level of your relationship to a much higher standard.
Well unless your girlfriend chooses gym over you.
Getting to Know Somebody Is the Real Problem
I am not who she thought I was. She is not who I thought she is.
And that’s the same with everybody. People think that actors are perfect. Spend a week with them. You’ll see that they have very big flaws.
Spend enough time with somebody, and you will notice their flaws.
If you meet the right person, those flaws aren’t major enough. Most of the time, they are though.
And that’s the big problem with long distance relationships.
It takes a long while to get to know somebody fully.
On the other side, while you might notice flaws quicker in short-term relationships or even getting to know somebody, you often lack the experience of spending a full week with somebody to notice those little annoying details unless you live with somebody.
I do hate how sometimes she cares too much in certain situations. She perhaps hates how I look careless in some situations.
Not knowing somebody enough is a big issue as far as long-distance relationships are concerned. Perhaps that’s why it took us seeing each other in 3 different countries before we became a couple.
It Does Get Hard Not Seeing Somebody You Love
Not being able to wake up beside somebody sucks a lot. I personally hate cuddling when sleeping with somebody as unless you are ice-cold, I just can’t do it but being in one bed is a feeling I can’t describe. And it’s those little things make it hard.
One of the things I hate the most about long distance relationships is that since your time is limited, you need to spend it in a certain way which means you often miss out on the little things that you just don’t have time for. I want to beat girlfriend in Monopoly just like I beat her in thumb wrestling whenever we were on a plane or a ferry. I want to discuss the things that matter to me but that I often forget to discuss because when all these thoughts you have come together when you finally see somebody, it get’s overwhelming.
Sometimes you also don’t want to have the hard talks due to the fact you once again are limited in terms of time and don’t want to waste it on the negative.
I sure also want to watch a movie together, but it’s not doable as if you want to maximize the day, you end up too tired.
Communication Is Often a Struggle
Sometimes it’s great being away from somebody and having the rest, but long distance relationships often also mean that whenever there’s something important to discuss, it’s done via text. And that is not good enough as text gets read wrong all the time whether it’s sarcasm or a joke. And let’s not forget the worst part, fighting when thousands of miles away from each other. It sucks.
Oh, and of course, video chat exists but so does terrible internet.
Are Long-Distance Relationship Bad or Are They Worth It?
Long relationships aren’t easy. I never said they are. But long distance relationships certainly aren’t bad.
Long distance relationships mean that you fight on the internet, but they also mean you expand as a human being while also meaning that you miss out on crucial moments in one’s life.
Will they work for you? It depends on you. And most likely not, if you are reading this.
Long distance relationships aren’t something you just decide on. You can’t just decide that you want a relationship because it seems cool. It needs to be real. Most aren’t. That’s why they end. If you get caught up with one though, it might turn out to be the best thing that happens to you in terms of expanding as a person!